My birthday was last August 12, 2013 (Monday) and I didn't expect too much surprises. It was the first time that I thought of being humble and simple to God (yet hopeful). ^_^
Days before my birthday I said to myself maybe it will be a great week for me since at the end of the week was the "Live Pure Conference 2013". I prepared my notes and list of activities (like preparing where to go before and after the live pure, where to stay, and what will be our activities staying in Manila? Can I go with my cousins and friends?) Well I did not expect too much but just prayed to received God and Mama Mary's message for all of us.
First day of the week and it was my birthday. I prayed a lot and thought of being simple not to asked more from God because I knew I had enough. But He gave me presents and surprises from the CFC SFL community, friends and family. It was great and so meaningful for me. Imagined I didn't asked for more but He gave me more. ^_^ I didn't even spend too much money.
My birthday ended and I thought again of being happy like what I expected. But as days went by I felt alone. I am lonely and feeling of finding myself. Lord what happened? Where is this happiness I prayed for? I worried too much. Because at some point I came to realize that my age was going to threaten me. Why? Because before when I was in college I told myself that at the age of 26 I am no longer single but married. But here I am right now... "single"? or "complicated"? I am worried of my love life... BROKEN! Oh... LOVE... LIFE... and my FAMILY too!!! I was hoping that my family will be going to be alright reaching at this age but it wasn't. The fact was that it became worst. This was just the major major problems that it made me 'dramatic'.
Saturday came, I was feeling hopeful for the "live pure conference" because I know it will nourish my soul. So even if we were in the middle of enjoying ourselves in the 'enchanted kingdom' I continued to pray.
When the day of event came I felt nervous but happy. I asked myself, "Lord what will be your messages for this conference?" At the same time I was glad that my cousin and friends came.
The event started with a rosary prayer and a mass. The glory of the Lord was at the conference. All were praising him and listened attentively. There is a purpose why He wanted me to attend the said conference. Because even if I am in the community for years but He continued in reminding me to be simple and to trust Him as well as how to live as "christian". By living in purity inside and out especially by taming my tongue. "Coming HOME" to God like the story of prodigal son makes my faith grow stronger.
After all the talks and messages I heard my heart was deeply crying because He accepted me again. He made me realize to follow the path He wanted for me - the path to "heaven". Looking back I was worried of my brokenness, my age, my family and my future... But this time it will be the prodigal daughter COMING HOME to GOD willing to change. ^_^ Here are my realizations after the conference:
I.
LOVE life will come at the right place at the right time... My brokenness will continue to inspire others not to complicate love. Looking "love" at the wrong place will make us broken, disappointed and depressed. Let God loves you first, let him be our FIRST LOVE. And if we are 'in a relationship' let God hold us as we put Him first and in the center of the relationship. ^_^
II.
Age doesn't matter of course. Maybe now is not the time and God still have more plans for me. My love story God written is not yet finish and I am waiting for that. hehehe.
III.
My family is the greatest gift I had. I know one day this problem will come to an end. Me and my mother needs more patience and trust in the Lord. We have to come in unity and in prayer. Still I will bring them back to the community where we started. I do not have to worry too much because I know the heaven above is taking good care of my family.
IV.
My future? hmmm... I remember one of my confessions the priest told me that "the future is today". Face the realities right now and do God wants you to do and that is to follow the ten commandments. Heaven is my goal and I will reach it.
For this, I am in the community for almost 13 years (hindi kasama ang pagiging Kids for Christ ^_^) but I was lost sometime but now I AM COMING HOME TO THE PLACE HE SET FOR ME, TO THE PLACE WHERE I BELONG... I just have to be SIMPLE AND LOVING and not to worry too much. To God be the glory.
